Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Re-evaluating



A month ago or so I think, we were tasked to make a poem. That was when my terror began. I am a writer, yes. But there is one thing I don’t know how to write. And that’s writing a poem, and honestly from the past grades I got from my English subject concerning a topic on poems I’d say I was always hanging by a word.

So after numerous of scratches, ball pen streaks and wasted papers, I created a poem. When I was done, I lost the poem. HAHAHA:D lucky me!!! Now, I had to do it all over again. The worst thing? I had to recall the lost poem that was created a month ago. So I gave up and made another one. Hope it satisfies you, the reader, keep in mind though that I’m not good at this soooo cut a girl some slack. J

What a surprise my life had been
A little spark of me , you would’ve seen
Like flowing blood that’s in my vein
There , a bit of glee, I remained.

Success struck me but I decomposed
I, myself felt that that door had closed
Like bottles and jars it kept me inside
Now my soul is locked with great big pride.

Worm eaten I was for I had lost my own
I sold my soul for something, for a reason that’s known
It was not masturbation, that is a part of me grow to up
Rather there was a part of me that I need to give up.

I remembered a Bamithsva that I, myself attended
Then I knew that the celebrant had what all he wanted
That  day I promised to have success in me
And now it seems I ended so proud and greedy.

I put away my soul like a cashier discards
Then success overflowed, but I knew I was a coward
Called such because I was afraid to lose everything
Because of that, I became nothing.

Oh, but there is a twist in making this poem. It had to revolve on the following 10 words:

1.       Masturbation
2.       Bartmithsva
3.       Worm-eaten
4.       Cashier
5.       Success
6.       Glee
7.       Decomposed
8.       Success
9.       Bottles
10.   Surprise

Monday, 16 April 2012

"IF"


   “IF” is a very dangerous word. If and only if. If I only did what I knew in my heart that I was supposed to do then maybe. . . just maybe. . If I'd only. . .
             I live by my youth. I live by my memories. Every night I'm haunted by those beautiful dreams. Everyday I speak of the past. I can't help it. I'm at the end of the race but I'm still looking back at the starting line. Still looking back at her. My treasure. My precious. If only I had the wisdom to realize that what I felt was real, if only I had the courage to seize what I know I had in my heart and soul then maybe I wouldn't have wasted my youth, wouldn't have to enter this realm of blasphemy.                      

  If and only if. As I've said a powerful word that leaves me hanging, wondering what could have been and what might have been.
              I visit my past. The silhouette of the sunset. If I had my stand, then my “if” would no longer be haunting. But I sit here, everyday, in this beach, where I will meet my end with my tears and haunts of “if”.