Cupid's Arrow

So. . .

So Cupid, I was just wondering what happened?

Because see, I sent you a letter, I specifically told you to answer me at the right time, when I'm finally ready. And so when you answered me, I thought I already was ready. But I was wrong. I was definitely wrong. I did not expect this mind blowing experience. One day the chocolates were sweet and luscious and then suddenly. . . it expired.

Well Cupid? Do you have something to say for yourself? You should be ashamed! You shot the arrow right then and there but you failed to check the strength of your so-called arrow.

And yes, I am blaming Cupid for all my love problems. But don’t worry, I’m not crazy. I’m actually “okay” now. It was my fault after all, or was it?

I was not ready at all. But that’s okay. I can manage. After all, I’m not the only one who went through this. I can come back again.

So technically, Cupid wasn’t at fault at all. It was ours. And that is what we have to solve. It’s time to actually realize both our mistakes and fix it. Cupid shot the arrow, but he was not responsible for it to suddenly break. Cupid shot the arrow, but the arrow was fragile. That’s because the arrow is supposed to be taken care of. The arrow will be strong once you’ve put up the foundation. But it doesn’t mean that if you have an arrow then it’s real, it could be fake, you could just be catching the arrow that wasn’t supposed to be yours. The point of this sappy love something-something is that, I’m broken. And I was wrong to be delusional. I guess I had to learn the hard way. But nothing has come to an end yet, I’m still here, admitting to myself the wrong of everything and I guess soon time will just be my best friend for now, whether it will fix things or will it remain broken.

So Cupid, I’m sorry I didn’t took care of your arrow, I was taking it for granted. Please forgive me. Give me a chance to witness it once again, and to feel it. This time, I promise to be patient. I still don’t know if you handed me the right arrow or not but would you do me a great favor and fix my bow.

We hold our own bow’s not Cupid. We had the right to aim, because we decided to do it. We should fix our aim next time, but maybe we had the right aim, just a fragile arrow.

Guard your heart!

A hard life makes a brave heart.

          The things that happen in your life may come as a burden to you. May become deep-rooted in the past, and it may result to your anger. But I have nothing to say.

          I don't have that kind of a past. Maybe I'm just blessed. But then if I were blessed to not experience that kind of hard life, then why am I so lazy? Why do I take things for granted? Why do I get scared when everything doesn't fall into plan? Maybe because, I haven't seen or experience the worse. That's why it is so easy for me to get on. But then, I always get scared with it.

         The ones who had their share of a burdened past are the people who are more blessed. They got a challenge. And they just need to overcome it with faith. Again, it's easy for me to say it, because I don't really know.

         All I know is this, a hard life makes a brave heart. And this heart is the heart that's guarded. It's the heart that is afraid to lose, afraid to get hurt again, but will of course try, and that is what makes them brave.

        Just have faith in those people. They'be been through harsh times. All they need is support.

        Your hard life isn't done, there is bound to be more. Be careful. But don't worry. You have a good heart. You know what's right and what's wrong (although sometimes they get mixed). The hard life is just starting. Prepare your heart. Guard your heart!!

The White Canvass

               Green. The mind turns to green. Think of things, put a teaspoon of doubt and all you have are green judgements. When you know that the canvass was printed white with a shade of grey, you think of green. You spray light colors like orange, and yellow, but think of blue and your thoughts make green.

               The mind interferes with facts when you begin to doubt, then your facts become false documents and then you start to accuse. So the canvass becomes green. . .

The White Canvass - or was.

ap·pre·ci·ate

ap·pre·ci·ate  

/əˈprēSHēˌāt/

Verb Recognize the full worth of. Be grateful for (something).

Synonyms value - estimate - appraise - evaluate - rate - esteem appreciate - recognize with gratitude; be grateful for acknowledge, recognise, recognize - express obligation, thanks, or gratitude for; "We must acknowledge the kindness she showed towards us"appreciate - be fully aware of; realize fully; "Do you appreciate the full meaning of this letter?" take account realize, see, understand, realise - perceive (an idea or situation) mentally; "Now I see!"; "I just can't see your point"; "Does she realize how important this decision is?"; "I don't understand the idea" appreciate verb 1. enjoy, like, value, regard, respect, prize, admire, treasure, esteem, relish, cherish, savour, rate highly Anyone can appreciate our music. enjoy scorn, disdain, denigrate, belittle, disparage 2. be aware of, know, understand, estimate, realize, acknowledge, recognize, perceive, comprehend, take account of, be sensitive to, be conscious of, sympathize with, be alive to, be cognizant of She never really appreciated the depth of the conflict. be aware of misunderstand, be unaware of, underrate 3. be grateful, be obliged, be thankful, give thanks, be indebted, be in debt, be appreciative I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention that. be grateful be ungrateful for 4. increase, rise, grow, gain, improve, mount, enhance, soar, inflate There is little confidence that houses will appreciate in value. increase fall, deflate, depreciate, devaluate                  Be grateful. Be content. Be happy for others. Sometimes, people just need a little appreciation, to boost their confidence, to increase their value. They know that you appreciate them, but sometimes they just need you express it. Silently appreciating is good. Verbally appreciating helps that certain someone to cope. Appreciating means you're happy, that you value them, and you're worth all their hardwork. :D

HAPPY BLOG-GERY!

              I'll admit this is a crappy picture. Sorry! My phone is not DSLR-material. Anyways, enough about my phone, look what I got on Valentines Day!!

             The reason I showed this picture is because February is my Blog-gery Year! Yep, it's been a year already since my 1st post. And if you could remember correctly, I spent my Valentines Day before with my friends. Now, I have someone to share it with:*

            I'm not going mushy mushy. I want to point out in fact, that a lot has happened in 2012. One of my blessed years ever. I gained friends-no scratch that-I gained a family. The family that I was afraid I should be open to, because I was afraid I wouldn't get along. But then, I just did. And now, I love all of them. They are my family here in Dumaguete City <3. I also had someone very dear to my heart. Someone whom I can share secrets and basically everything ;) (Hence, the Valentine Gift). I also lost friends in the process. Friends, whom on my 1st post, I assumed that we were going to be friends forever. We were a big group. And now we are cut, everyone formed their own little groups. Everyone back stabbed anyone. Now, my home is now a house. Just a simple construction that I'm living. I also had a chance to write at my heart's content, to be sad and to be happy as I can be.

             The year was full of emotions. Every emoticon you can think of. The thing I'm most truly blessed at, is when I found God. I changed. Into something better. I became calm when I found HIM. And now, everything is all about HIM. HE was my perfect date last year. And now, HE gave me someone and a family to share it with. I'm blessed.

           Happy Blog-gery everybody! Let's see if there are more mushy mushy things I can say about this year. Let's see how many changes will come. Let's see who stays and who goes. Let's see what's going to happen in my blog. Be Blog-gerific for this year! Be Blog-awesome! (Now, I'm just fooling around.) Happy New Year! Happy Hearts! Happy Blogging! :D

              Not to be ultra-corny! But look what I got.

A heart-shaped candy

White Rose

Cookies

A drawing

With a letter

          The last part is my favorite. Home-made:D

   

'13-No.

Apparently amounting to any word doesn't mean anything,

Until the pain subsides but the fumes still burning.

The memories always playing, replay, lingering.

The ache you so forced to hide but somehow still showing.

The mistakes and words already said,

Can’t ever come back, all too much stuck in your head.

Apparently the things that hurt most last longer,

The things you thought would stay, disappear quicker.

Too bad for all the plans;

Too bad for all the things that happened

It seems the more you get glued to the past,

The more you try to forget, the more it'd resurface.

All to soon because you predicted;

Hurts more because you hoped;

But the future will always be lost in the shadows,

Until you forget the past and see what follows.

          It seems 2013 isn't going quite swell for me. Me and my relationship. Shocking! It's already in the rocks? When it barely started yet? Tsk. Tsk. How Sad.

Just Doors, no locks.

The Secret Door to the past,

Unlocked. Out of place.

Knowing that neither last,

Will the last be the last?

Will the unknown come back and resurface?

And try to get back its original place?

 Will the past reflect what has happened?

And choose to try again?

Will the subject tell or be silent,

To the qualms and worries hidden?

Will it leave or stay?

I assume, but it is too early to say.

Will the third be content?

Of the door outside full of torment.

She will try, can she handle though?

the overwhelming feelings unknown.

Nevertheless, the past is the past,

Focus on now and the present.

Make things work so it will last,

Be gracious of what's sent.

The rain has been rough yesterday,

And I'm afraid it continued today.

Release that baggage behind,

Say what you have to say.

So things won't go silent,

And the tense aura will go away.

Make things easy,

And just say you're sorry.

Shoots. And Breaking Dawn.

Definitely, a tiresome--worthy weekend.

          Three years ago, I hated books. Especially educational books. eeewww. Boring :p But then, a best friend of mine (who probably thought I was bored) told me to read a particular book. To keep looking like I'm cool, I agreed. Little did I know, that was a decision in my life that defined me.

          Now, I am an avid reader. I usually, back then, just watch series and movies and just pass the bookstore every so often. But now, I love books, I love how the authors create a new world, it's like looking at another perspective. I love the movies. I love how they can compile every scene, I love how they can make their visions into reality. I love TV. Basically, I'm not the girl who checks her FB or twitter account every minute of the day. I want to catch up with what's up. See how imagination can still take you to new heights, new possibilities, new worlds.

          And so, to end my relationship with the first book that I've ever read (not mandatory), we watched the last part of its story- Breaking Dawn Part II. It was fun, the overwhelming part was I watched how it grew, how it was still a mere story, now, part of history in the industry. Although before we watched it, we had to wait 1 week after its debut. But it was worth the wait. Or rather, I guess the day was worth the wait.;)

          Anyways, shooting baskets?? Hmm, I'm not a sporty type of girl but I definitely can shoot. :D

         Shoot baskets? where's the fun in that? I guess its that one point in that moment where you can actually think you can shoot it--and you did. And the rewards? That depends :)

Shoot baskets as much as you can, take a risk. If I didn't read the book, I wouldn't be able to put something in an autograph book. I wouldn't discover what I like. Shoot baskets. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Try as much as you can, after all, you never know which basket you belong to, if you don't try it.

Letter to Cupid: Answered.

BEFORE: Posted: February, 2012

It's February. Mostly known as Love Month. The month where the sweetest chocolates are made, the beautiful aroma of flowers are smelled and different shapes and shades of red hearts. It is as festive as Christmas and Halloween. It is as most prepared for as an Independence Day of a certain country.

The ones who are most excited for this month are those who are in a relationship. Those who found the other half of their hearts. Although it might be cliche but at this time they would might as well renew their promises of love and affection.

For those who are single. Well, this is not the month to worry  and be sad that you don't have a partner. This is the perfect time for us to see our whole population. To find out who are taken and who are not. This is the time for us to be hopeful.

Though I am still single I am hoping that with the following moments to come I would find my other half. And when that moment comes I'm counting on cupids arrow to struck as both. But in the meantime, I'd like to send cupid a letter. . .

Dear Cupid,

Whether I have met the man I’m meant to be with or not, I hope that you would take care of him and let him stay away from all temptations. And when the moment does come, I hope that you would give me the eyes to recognize him, the feeling to acknowledge the feelings I might feel, the wisdom to know the difference between love and infatuation. And last but not the least, for that certain moment I hope that you would create a perfect setting for the perfect time for us to meet at the perfect place for me to find my perfectly imperfect man.

AFTER: Present:)

              There is nothing like it is there? Finally! Did cupid really shot us an arrow? I can hardly believe it. :) Did he really send this letter? :)
               Thank YOU for answering the letter. Though things aren't settled yet, and things aren't set as strong as a rock. I know You'll be our strength. Cliche much!.

Pssst: (You know who you are.) Funny. Thank you. Haha. I feel the same way. Though I'm not sure about the expression of the stick drawing.

And to Cupid,

Funny how you work in strange ways. I've got to hand it to you, you deliver fast. A letter of recommendation is really at hand.

Thank you for your arrows, I hope it won't break. Our friends are really happy. Which makes everything much more worthwhile.

The place was far from perfect, neither was the time, but you definitely shot the perfectly imperfect man right. (wink!)

P.S. Maybe I'll send a letter to Santa Claus next. :D

Fights

         I'm afraid things aren't working too well for my friend here in our house. Funny, the once happy place became so silent, so dull. It always makes me want to go out and just come back for sleep.
          People. Yes, so much people. So many attitudes, cultures, values -- all different from each other.

          We were on the next room, we were preparing to sleep, but then we heard noises. Our friends were fighting. They were shouting, and the ambiance of the room was intense. Everyone was hot, they were all standing ready to backfire each other, to throw those nasty words from their tongues. The tongues, which I could remember perfectly were the same tongues whom with laugh with, share jokes with everyone. But what happened?
          How different is one to the other? How challenging to be living in one place with people you never grew up with? It's hard. Frustrating. Annoying. But then again, you have to live with it, live with them. Though it's not easy, you just have to.
         Now, the fight is over. And everybody became quiet. Silence. The issues have been resolved, the matter has been concluded. And then? What happens next? Yes, you solved it. But the words that were sent is still piercing through those hearts. And the memory still lingers. If they did it before, what assurance do they have that it won't happen again?
         Everything is awkward now. Just silent paths and nods were given. How can you bring back what was before? Pray. Pray that you could. And if it won't, pray for the better.

Rain, Rain Go Away

Mad. Insanely mad.
Can't do anything about it.

         Pick things up and accept what things are.The weather isn't always nice. Usually you just have to endure the day. But enduring--that's just sad. Everyday is a blessing, too bad you have to endure it. The day is beautiful. The night is long. Don't make your frown last longer.

        I'm sorry I was mad. I'm sorry you were mad. But just like every rain, we'll just have to wait for it to pass. After all, a tree exists, not because of the sun alone, it also needs a little rain for it to fully grow.

Perfectly Secret

Secrets.

We all have them.

Tell me who doesn't.

So, what are your secrets? 

I have a tiny little secret that I'd like to share,

A secret, I've come to know of, 

too painful to bare.

This secret I know, shusssh! I'm not allowed to say,

For from the start, I was supposed to stay away,

Oh, but this hard head, it was hard not to sway.

Now, look where it end up,

A grumpy mood, and a broken heart,

It led me to fall, far too hard.

Poor old me, what have I done?

Now I'm hurting, but have nowhere to run.

The burden I have, it weighs like a ton,

But too late, yes, too late indeed, can't be undone.

Secrets can either make or break you. And most of the time, it breaks you.
A little advice, in the future, for me - - never unravel another secret if it's not ready to be heard.

So, what's YOUR secret? ;)

3-Day Vacation

                I guess it took me a while to write about this. All I can say is that this vacation was truly great. It was my first time to meet my grandparents from my father’s side. It was my first time in the Hundred Islands-one of the tourist spots in the Philippines. Technically it was a lot of first. HEHE:D

                One great October ago, last last year, my father booked a flight for the whole family to see his family in Alaminos, Pangasinan. We were all excited about it. Although the trip wasn’t up until February, we were still excited. A few months passed, a little waiting and after a burning urge of excitement, the day of the flight finally came.

                The duration of our vacation was on February 12 to 14. I had to miss our Quarterly Knowledge-Community Service, my best friend’s sweet 16 and Valentine’s Day, but heck, it was all worth it.

                On the day of the flight, we were up all early; my mom was again, the mom that she was, worrying about all things, my father was guarded and the three of us?? We were all jumping for joy.

                In Manila, we visited the Mall of Asia, got lost, got frustrated. Haha:D. It was so big, we didn’t know where to go first, then we gave up, and we ate. We got to a bus, and had a 3-hour drive. I slept through the whole drive, my mom told me to stay awake and see the beautiful sights, but my eyes was just giving up. 

                We got to my dad’s hometown at 12 midnight. And at February 13, 2011, 12: (something) I met my grandparents. Mama Perla and Papa Jaime. They were all speaking in tagalog, sometimes in Ilocano. My father looked just like them. Perfect combination. In the morning, I met my cousins, little did I know, I was still the oldest one. We went to “Hundred Islands”. And it was beautiful.

                Naturally beautiful. Islands everywhere. All in their distinct shape. Proof, another one of God’s Perfect Creations. 

                The trip was amazing, I just can’t write all of it. I forgot some of the details. To sum it all up, I met my relatives, I saw the Islands. I saw again, Manila. And this time on our way back, I didn’t sleep, I just watched, marveled at the whole trip. The city was of course busy, the people were minding their own business, little did they know, that out of the crowd, one little family, one little girl got the best vacation ever. ;)

               

Crustaceans

           

Technically, I don't hate these "creatures".

I'm just not allowed to eat them, that's why I have a mild dislike for them.

             This week was a major wake up call about my health. On Tuesday, September 11, I bought "siomai" (which is one of my favorite finger foods), mistakenly, I forgot to ask if their recipe for making it, had shrimp. And so, while I was on the verge of eating my 2nd delicious siomai, I found a small portion of shrimp, and I spit it out.

                 You see, ever since I was months old, my father found out that I wasn't allowed to eat crustacean foods. Apparently, I inherited it from my grandma. My allergic reaction isn't the normal reaction like others where they would just itch, mine is apparently, fatal. AS IN, the doctor REALLY banned me from eating it. So, LOIS! Don't be hard headed.

                When I found out, that I had eaten a shrimp, I was soooo scared. My parents were far away from me, and my friends didn't know what to do. I called my mother, and she was in hysterics, she LITERALLY shouted me, in fact, both of them were mad at me, but I was even more mad of myself of being careless. I rushed to the nearest pharmacy and bought, a rather expensive ( I might say) medicine. Thanks to The Lord God, I must have had ample time left, because the allergy didn't kicked in, which means,  I made it just in time. Thank you.

                And now, tonight, we had our "duty" as part of a publishing organization in our University. And our midnight snack was, yes, prawn crackers. What a swell! The aroma of the freshly cooked crackers is still circling the office, I'm tempted to eat, but I'm more concerned of the outcome.

I guess, I  won't ever taste these foods, unless of course a new medicine is made to erase the allergies of people (fingers crossed), but until then, I will just watch. Watch the people that I love and care enjoy their meal. Besides if I can't eat it, I might as well enjoy the show. ;).

Dream Place

VENICE



---
. "La Dominante"
 "Serenissima"
"Queen of the Adriatic"
"City of Water"
 "City of Masks"
 "City of Bridges"
 "The Floating City"
"City of Canals"

---

Venice is the capital of Regione Veneto and Venice in Italy. The city has an area of ​​approximately 412 km ² is the world-famous for its beautiful and full of urban design and architectural work of natural art. Venice is better known as a tourist city and industrial city. Relics of fame makes trading city of Venice as one of the famous tourist spot on the shores of the Adriatic Sea, with the nickname “The Queen of the Adriatic” which is still attached. And the whole city is listed as a World Heritage Site, along with its lagoon.

---

Just look at how beautiful the place is.

If I were given a round trip ticket to anywhere. . .

THIS IS WHERE I'D GO.

No words can express how deep my love is for this beautiful place. This place that I haven't even been to. To touch its waters. Ride their  "little boats" called GONDOLA. And just cruise to the entire place.
Their buildings, I hope to see close one day. Their people, that I would love to be acquainted with.



---

---

And at night,

at night where the wind is serene, the moon is placed on the sky where its light would shine the brightest, and the stars are perfectly arranged. 

All nature's beauty,

plus, this . . .

Oh, how I love this beautiful place.

Soon, soon.

Soon, I'll be able to walk here, to experience and witness its beauty.

My dreams are many, and you can trust this is one of them.

Someday, I'll be able to go to this place, and feel my heart, at peace. :D.

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://worldstourism.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Venice-The-City-of-Beautiful-and-Romantic_tourism_3.jpg&imgrefurl=http://worldstourism.com/venice-the-city-of-beautiful-and-romantic/&usg=__A7hhd9uwQtCRIOMmBlUK6RTnKss=&h=452&w=640&sz=63&hl=fil&start=14&sig2=4jbjCQ1KGWmcm1nAxOtjrQ&zoom=1&tbnid=_AzLvrK2kBoUHM:&tbnh=97&tbnw=137&ei=P_FRUIbzNMHtrQfJ74DYCQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dvenice%26hl%3Dfil%26sa%3DX%26gbv%3D2%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venice

http://thetouristattractions.blogspot.com/2012/01/venice-famous-tourist-attractions-of.html

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://www.bardics.de/PhotoGallery/VeneciaSloweniaAtNight/slides/Venice%2520at%2520night%252044.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.bardics.de/PhotoGallery/VeneciaSloweniaAtNight/slides/Venice%2520at%2520night%252044.html&usg=__D_QeVBmC9bhXlfL27aX00wx6yUc=&h=508&w=800&sz=60&hl=fil&start=7&sig2=nSlYtYYYLpdsa2TB2ieyFw&zoom=1&tbnid=euJ8NuZlpTdEhM:&tbnh=91&tbnw=143&ei=wvVRUJz2KNHyrQeWoYCoCQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dvenice%2Bat%2Bnight%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dfil%26gbv%3D2%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1

I’m Sorry.

--- Today, my friends decided to watch a horror film AND a film about the mentally ill. When I asked “Can you please, after the clip, not describe what you saw?”

---They tell me: You’re overreacting.

Dear friends,

            I know that at times my fears may be considered as an overreaction to you. And I’m so sorry about that. The truth is, I don’t know what to do about it. All I can say is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m afraid of dolls and their eyes. I’m sorry I’m afraid of people who are mentally ill. I’m sorry I’m afraid of being alone. I’m sorry I’m afraid of the dark. I’m sorry I’m not as strong as you. I’m sorry I’m not as tough and brave. I’m deeply sorry for that.

            You see, the thing is, I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know how to face them. As much as I try to face them, I’m afraid that I might collapse again, and this time, my father won’t be there to take me. You don’t know what it’s like to live in a place where you always have to be careful, where you always have to be prim and proper, to always be sensitive of others. I guess, because of that, I grew up to be a weak one. To be so dependent.

            I’m scared of those things because I had my fare share of experiences, and somehow, thank GOD I forgot why. That’s why I can’t explain why I’m afraid of them. All I know is that when I’m on the verge of a situation to face all my fears, I breakdown, and cry, and somehow I can’t breathe. Again, maybe, another overreaction to you.

            I counted on all of you, to respect my fears and to never dwell on them, or to never toy with them. I counted on you to use your arms and block my sight when a picture forms. I counted on you to stop people who toy with my feelings. But I guess, I was very much just assuming  that you would.

            It hurts to be told that you’re over reacting about all of this. And deep inside, I cry when they laugh at what I fear. It hurts. Soooo much. It hurts because not only am I irrevocably afraid of all it, I can’t do a damn thing about it. It’s a phobia. And you should never play with that.

FACE YOUR FEARS! – they all say. I would. But there’s a fine line between “I won’t” and  “I can’t”.

            Do you think I like to be afraid? Do you think I pray to be such a coward? Do you honestly think I don’t envy the times when you all just jam and watch a horror film, while I’m at the corner just trying to make myself busy?? I hate it. Of course, I hate it!

            I’m sorry I can’t be brave enough like all of you. All I ask is that you won’t ever tamper with what I feel. Because honestly, I’m already scared, I’m scared. And I thought I would be safe, because you’re all there.

Tsk tsk. Guess I was wrong.